I've got only 9 minutes before I leave for the airport, but I thought I'd post a quick update. I went to about 4 interviews yesterday with different staff members, each charged with asking me a different set of questions (about coping with stress, community living, etc.) They all went pretty well for the most part. It seems to all be coming down to whether I am willing to sign a statement saying a "believe, agree with, and fully support" their position paper on homosexuality. It's a topic that I've been wrestling with, so I explained to them that I'm reluctant to sign my theological convictions away (not that I agree or disagree with their position yet, but I'm in process). I'm more than willing to submit to their theological position during my time here so that I can serve the guys.
In a way I feel caught between wanting to be only halfway honest on the application, and between letting my "integrity" get in the way of me showing the redeeming love of Jesus to the most broken and hurting group of people I've encountered...
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Emmaus Visit, Part 1
So, I just got back from my first official interview with Emmaus in Chicago, and it was with the director of Outreach Ministries. The interview consisted of, well, outreach. We went to all the local hangouts, and I met two male prostitutes and three transvestites, and heard all kinds of horror stories, most likely them testing my boundaries and trying to elicit a shock response from me. Despite the fact that it was entirely different from anything I've ever been comfortable doing, and the fact that I was out several hours past my West-Coast bedtime, I had a great time. The lives these people have led are diametrically opposed to the life I've lived, and both of us know that, so there's no pressure to find common ground. Honesty, transparency, and authenticity are valued among this ostracized community, and that's greatly comforting to me, knowing that there's very little I could probably find in common with them.
I found this quote extremely relevant tonight.
"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell." -- C.T. Studd
More updates tomorrow...
I found this quote extremely relevant tonight.
"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell." -- C.T. Studd
More updates tomorrow...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Foregone Conclusions
you were too busy steering the conversation toward the lord
to hear the voice of the spirit begging you to shut the fuck up
you thought it must be the devil trying to make you go astray
besides it couldn't have been the lord because you don't believe he talks that way
too close to call yet
still so tightly wound around our foregone conclusions
to hear the voice of the spirit begging you to shut the fuck up
you thought it must be the devil trying to make you go astray
besides it couldn't have been the lord because you don't believe he talks that way
too close to call yet
still so tightly wound around our foregone conclusions
These lyrics have been floating around my mind all week, and offending me the whole time... but in a good and challenging way. There's so much clutter in Christendom these days, especially with the recent inundation of "Emergent" and "counter-Emergent" literature. That's just the area I've experienced this clutter in (not to mention the thousands of Christian blogs floating around, which this is one of)... there's also been an overabundance of easy-Christianity for years, since Billy Graham brought conversion to the living room and local stadium.
This isn't to point fingers by any means... because just about all of us go to church to hear a 30 minute sermon spoken to us every singe week. Jesus's Sermon on the Mount takes about 20 minutes to read out loud all the way through, and that was the most influential sermon in history... why do we feel the need to say so much more than Jesus did? Didn't he say that his disciples would be known by their actions (or fruits)? When are we going to "walk the walk"?
This isn't to point fingers by any means... because just about all of us go to church to hear a 30 minute sermon spoken to us every singe week. Jesus's Sermon on the Mount takes about 20 minutes to read out loud all the way through, and that was the most influential sermon in history... why do we feel the need to say so much more than Jesus did? Didn't he say that his disciples would be known by their actions (or fruits)? When are we going to "walk the walk"?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Time Flies When You're Having Fun... Or Not
November is upon us, and for that matter is almost half over. I realized this the other day, and thought about how quickly 2008 has gone by. For that matter, I thought about how fast time has gone by since I graduated high school. There are a few people who I graduated with who I've either maintained contact with or have been able to follow through social-networking sites; and I must say, my graduating class of 6 people has churned out an interesting bunch.
One girl I graduated with chose to pursue modeling, rather than a college education (something I was somewhat disappointed with, considering she was an honors student). I must say she's had some success, though, and now owns a $2.6 million home in New Mexico, not at the cost of her dignity though, as her photos suggest that she has her foot firm in the doorway of the porn industry and has made no indication that she doesn't intend to fully step through. Sort of a Pyrrhic victory - she's incredibly financially successful and admired by many... but at what cost? She's valued strictly for her body, but she lacks both the character and available community that so make life worth living. I imagine that, if she would first admit it to herself, she would confide a deep sense of loneliness to anyone willing to listen.
Another girl I graduated with, who happens to go to APU with me, I found out a couple weeks ago is a recovering addict. We both felt a sense of pride as she showed me her first 30-day chip, which declared her sobriety, dangling from her key chain. A week after that conversation, her boyfriend proposed to her, and they're now engaged to be married. I can't help but sense the presence of redemption and hope when I think of how far she's come.
As for me, I'm getting ready to graduate college, and hopefully serve a group of people in Chicago who I would not hesitate to call "the least of these" - as they are ostracized among the homeless community.
That's where half of my graduating class of six is, only three and a half years later! I can't help but wonder where the other three are, and where they're headed...
One girl I graduated with chose to pursue modeling, rather than a college education (something I was somewhat disappointed with, considering she was an honors student). I must say she's had some success, though, and now owns a $2.6 million home in New Mexico, not at the cost of her dignity though, as her photos suggest that she has her foot firm in the doorway of the porn industry and has made no indication that she doesn't intend to fully step through. Sort of a Pyrrhic victory - she's incredibly financially successful and admired by many... but at what cost? She's valued strictly for her body, but she lacks both the character and available community that so make life worth living. I imagine that, if she would first admit it to herself, she would confide a deep sense of loneliness to anyone willing to listen.
Another girl I graduated with, who happens to go to APU with me, I found out a couple weeks ago is a recovering addict. We both felt a sense of pride as she showed me her first 30-day chip, which declared her sobriety, dangling from her key chain. A week after that conversation, her boyfriend proposed to her, and they're now engaged to be married. I can't help but sense the presence of redemption and hope when I think of how far she's come.
As for me, I'm getting ready to graduate college, and hopefully serve a group of people in Chicago who I would not hesitate to call "the least of these" - as they are ostracized among the homeless community.
That's where half of my graduating class of six is, only three and a half years later! I can't help but wonder where the other three are, and where they're headed...
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thou Shall Not Share?: Pondering the Ethics of Piracy
The issue of piracy has been on my mind lately... More appropriately, the notion of intellectual property, considering that it's impossible to remain intellectually honest in trying to develop a theology that circumvents the law of the land when that law is not in direct opposition to the Gospel Message. But aside from royalties being part of the law, is the idea of intellectual property really consistent with the values Christians are supposed to hold?
When looking at file-sharing through the eyes of the 8th Commandment, it's important not to jump to conclusions. It's important to first understand that in order to steal something, that thing must be steal-able. That means that, in the act of stealing, the original owner is then deprived of what was once rightfully theirs, which is not necessarily true when it comes to the duplication and distribution of copies of information. Sure, this breaks down when one considers the amount of time and effort that goes into generating most intellectual property (e.g. the millions of dollars it takes to film a movie or record and master an album, or even to write a book). To deprive an artist or software author the wages for their hard work is clearly to deprive them of payment for their work, which would be stealing. But then the question arises, are the royalties that people continuously profit from different in nature from the one-time pay of a carpenter to build a chair. Would it be different if the carpenter was paid a certain amount each and every time I sat in the chair? Does the consumer have a right to sit in the chair and examine it before he buys it? Does he have the same right to listen to the CD or watch the movie before he decides to pay for the personal rights to own the movie?
Early theologians held the view that a person's thoughts or reflections did not belong to him. Augustine argued that the truth can belong to no one, and since all theological efforts were pointing to God, then what man can lay claim to his own theological contribution? In the same way, if all musicians (ideally) are in pursuit of making good music and contributing that music to the betterment of society, then how can they withhold the contribution they've intended to make for society. Have we so capitalized our own thoughts that we are no longer willing to contribute freely to society without expectation and even demand of ongoing payment? Do we really participate in a religion where the most widely used translations of our ancient, sacred, "God-breathed" texts are bound by intellectual copyrights, with continuous royalties amounting to millions are consistently being paid to those who translated it?
The so-called "Hacker Ethic" of pirates is one of Open Source. It says that all information should be free information, and that anyone should be able to contribute to the betterment of that information so we can literally work together to make the best of all that we do in society. It says that less fences makes for better neighbors, because once you take the fence away, then you have a bigger lawn; get a few more neighbors, and soon you've got a park. Sure, that sounds a bit Marxist and overly idealist, but what higher calling is there than to hopeful idealism? There's already a huge draw toward ad-supported services that pay royalties through advertising revenues, while remaining monetarily cost-free to the consumer (albeit the consumer opts to expose himself to a few more ads, but what's that on top of the 5,000 that the average American is exposed to everyday, right?)
I don't see a reason why a theology of breaking down walls and sharing everything in common shouldn't extend to intellectual property, especially if we're to serve God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength... (is it possible that we only serve our wallet with our mind?). This should be especially true in Christian circles when it comes to works of theology, Bible translations, and even/especially teaching curricula. Would these resources really cease to exist if we didn't capitalize them? My guess is that we would see a huge jump in the quality and a substantial reduction in quantity, because the number of people who contribute for recognition and financial gain would cease to hog the spotlight, and the people who contribute out of sheer conviction and service to God and society would flourish.
Anyways, there's my two cents, free of charge, of course ;)
(Also, I think that if I ever do publish a book in the distant future, I'll probably waive my copyrights allow for the honeypot distribution where people will pay if they want to... I like that idea)
When looking at file-sharing through the eyes of the 8th Commandment, it's important not to jump to conclusions. It's important to first understand that in order to steal something, that thing must be steal-able. That means that, in the act of stealing, the original owner is then deprived of what was once rightfully theirs, which is not necessarily true when it comes to the duplication and distribution of copies of information. Sure, this breaks down when one considers the amount of time and effort that goes into generating most intellectual property (e.g. the millions of dollars it takes to film a movie or record and master an album, or even to write a book). To deprive an artist or software author the wages for their hard work is clearly to deprive them of payment for their work, which would be stealing. But then the question arises, are the royalties that people continuously profit from different in nature from the one-time pay of a carpenter to build a chair. Would it be different if the carpenter was paid a certain amount each and every time I sat in the chair? Does the consumer have a right to sit in the chair and examine it before he buys it? Does he have the same right to listen to the CD or watch the movie before he decides to pay for the personal rights to own the movie?
Early theologians held the view that a person's thoughts or reflections did not belong to him. Augustine argued that the truth can belong to no one, and since all theological efforts were pointing to God, then what man can lay claim to his own theological contribution? In the same way, if all musicians (ideally) are in pursuit of making good music and contributing that music to the betterment of society, then how can they withhold the contribution they've intended to make for society. Have we so capitalized our own thoughts that we are no longer willing to contribute freely to society without expectation and even demand of ongoing payment? Do we really participate in a religion where the most widely used translations of our ancient, sacred, "God-breathed" texts are bound by intellectual copyrights, with continuous royalties amounting to millions are consistently being paid to those who translated it?
The so-called "Hacker Ethic" of pirates is one of Open Source. It says that all information should be free information, and that anyone should be able to contribute to the betterment of that information so we can literally work together to make the best of all that we do in society. It says that less fences makes for better neighbors, because once you take the fence away, then you have a bigger lawn; get a few more neighbors, and soon you've got a park. Sure, that sounds a bit Marxist and overly idealist, but what higher calling is there than to hopeful idealism? There's already a huge draw toward ad-supported services that pay royalties through advertising revenues, while remaining monetarily cost-free to the consumer (albeit the consumer opts to expose himself to a few more ads, but what's that on top of the 5,000 that the average American is exposed to everyday, right?)
I don't see a reason why a theology of breaking down walls and sharing everything in common shouldn't extend to intellectual property, especially if we're to serve God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength... (is it possible that we only serve our wallet with our mind?). This should be especially true in Christian circles when it comes to works of theology, Bible translations, and even/especially teaching curricula. Would these resources really cease to exist if we didn't capitalize them? My guess is that we would see a huge jump in the quality and a substantial reduction in quantity, because the number of people who contribute for recognition and financial gain would cease to hog the spotlight, and the people who contribute out of sheer conviction and service to God and society would flourish.
Anyways, there's my two cents, free of charge, of course ;)
(Also, I think that if I ever do publish a book in the distant future, I'll probably waive my copyrights allow for the honeypot distribution where people will pay if they want to... I like that idea)
Monday, October 13, 2008
I'm not a receptacle of knowledge
Believe it or not, amid all of the busyness and stress of my schedule, I've actually had a few things on my mind that weren't simply implanted by professors or class discussions. Even I have trouble imagining how I can have any kind of original thoughts in the midst of merely trying to manage my day.
Anyways, the thought came across my mind the other day as to whether academia simply wants be to be a receptacle of knowledge and intellection, or if it actually intends for me to be a steward of the knowledge I already have. See, as much as I enjoy academia and all that it has to offer, I can't help but think that it's all ultimately very circular. Is the system really working if the best and brightest only go on to further contribute to the system, and few if any ever really do anything with the knowledge they've so richly invested in?
Is a church really doing it's job if congregants just keep coming back week after week for some more good preachin'?
Perhaps it's because I'm discovering a niche and passion I have for recovery ministry and helping those who have fallen prey to addiction, but I'm increasingly having a difficult time seeing myself pursuing further education without actually doing something with what I've already been given. Maybe this is the parable of the talents playing out in my own life, I'm not sure... but I do know that I would be doing a disservice to myself if I pursued a graduate education (which I do hope to accomplish sometime in my life) before I could say that I've been faithful with the knowledge and guidance that I already have. I don't want to be the guy with a master's degree who writes books that only other ministry students will read, my ministry cannot only be to ministers, because that too would be a circular system.
There's always more to learn, and there's always more preparation that can be be done, but at what point do I step out on faith into the mission field, and rely fully on the guidance of this mysterious Creator and Redeemer of the world who I've come to know (sort of) and love?
Anyways, the thought came across my mind the other day as to whether academia simply wants be to be a receptacle of knowledge and intellection, or if it actually intends for me to be a steward of the knowledge I already have. See, as much as I enjoy academia and all that it has to offer, I can't help but think that it's all ultimately very circular. Is the system really working if the best and brightest only go on to further contribute to the system, and few if any ever really do anything with the knowledge they've so richly invested in?
Is a church really doing it's job if congregants just keep coming back week after week for some more good preachin'?
Perhaps it's because I'm discovering a niche and passion I have for recovery ministry and helping those who have fallen prey to addiction, but I'm increasingly having a difficult time seeing myself pursuing further education without actually doing something with what I've already been given. Maybe this is the parable of the talents playing out in my own life, I'm not sure... but I do know that I would be doing a disservice to myself if I pursued a graduate education (which I do hope to accomplish sometime in my life) before I could say that I've been faithful with the knowledge and guidance that I already have. I don't want to be the guy with a master's degree who writes books that only other ministry students will read, my ministry cannot only be to ministers, because that too would be a circular system.
There's always more to learn, and there's always more preparation that can be be done, but at what point do I step out on faith into the mission field, and rely fully on the guidance of this mysterious Creator and Redeemer of the world who I've come to know (sort of) and love?
Sunday, September 28, 2008
On The Edge of Burnout
Can I petition for a 25th hour of the day, or an 8th day of the week?
I'm beginning to realize that my current schedule is not sustainable. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are 12-14 hour days between interning at the church and going to classes, Thursday's I'm in class from 8am-4pm, Friday's I'm at work at the architecture firm from 9am-5pm, and Sundays I'm at the church from 7:30am-12:30pm. Mind you, this is before I've done the reading for my 18 units of classes or any homework. That essentially leaves the Thursday evening, Friday during the slow times at work, all of Saturday and the last half of Sunday to catch up for the week.
This weekend I attended a mandatory retreat with APU on Friday and Saturday. They graciously offered to waive any class absences I would have received on Friday (of which there were none, although I did miss 8 hours of work and the opportunity to do homework), and Saturday we got back at a modest 10:00pm. I wasn't able to get to sleep last night until 1:30 because I was really sick and jittery, so I got about 4 hours of sleep. Today I remembered that we had our monthly Jr High party from 6-8pm, which I was prepared for. What I wasn't prepared for was the impromptu pool party immediately after church that went until 4:30, so I worked 12 hours with a one-hour break in the middle on a day I would normally have for homework.
It's 9:05 right now, and in 20 minutes I have a meeting for a group presentation that's tomorrow, and I'm too burnt to be able to contribute anything significant to the group. I haven't been able to read any assignments for class except on Saturdays and Sunday afternoons for the last two weeks, which means I haven't read enough to attend any of my classes fully prepared. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can cut out of my schedule, since my internship is required for school and I don't do anything else.
Tomorrow I start my 3 consecutive 12-hour days over again.
I'm beginning to realize that my current schedule is not sustainable. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are 12-14 hour days between interning at the church and going to classes, Thursday's I'm in class from 8am-4pm, Friday's I'm at work at the architecture firm from 9am-5pm, and Sundays I'm at the church from 7:30am-12:30pm. Mind you, this is before I've done the reading for my 18 units of classes or any homework. That essentially leaves the Thursday evening, Friday during the slow times at work, all of Saturday and the last half of Sunday to catch up for the week.
This weekend I attended a mandatory retreat with APU on Friday and Saturday. They graciously offered to waive any class absences I would have received on Friday (of which there were none, although I did miss 8 hours of work and the opportunity to do homework), and Saturday we got back at a modest 10:00pm. I wasn't able to get to sleep last night until 1:30 because I was really sick and jittery, so I got about 4 hours of sleep. Today I remembered that we had our monthly Jr High party from 6-8pm, which I was prepared for. What I wasn't prepared for was the impromptu pool party immediately after church that went until 4:30, so I worked 12 hours with a one-hour break in the middle on a day I would normally have for homework.
It's 9:05 right now, and in 20 minutes I have a meeting for a group presentation that's tomorrow, and I'm too burnt to be able to contribute anything significant to the group. I haven't been able to read any assignments for class except on Saturdays and Sunday afternoons for the last two weeks, which means I haven't read enough to attend any of my classes fully prepared. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can cut out of my schedule, since my internship is required for school and I don't do anything else.
Tomorrow I start my 3 consecutive 12-hour days over again.
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